Monday, November 7, 2011

Monday Playlist: Guilty Pleasures

It’s Monday. F Mondays. I had a particularly awesome morning in which I woke up 30 minutes late, looked like a whale in everything I tried on, and left the house with 2 minutes to spare before the last train for 30 minutes would be arriving. While huffing it up the hill to the train stop, I realized that I had not woken up the BF so he could move his car for street cleaning in my haste to catch my train. So I attempted to extract my blackberry from my purse while running like a drunken buffalo up a hill in ill-fitting flats. Needless to say, I launched my blackberry in a slow-mo arc, landing and shattering it directly under the center of a large SUV. I had to crawl on my hands and knees on a street my dogs regularly use as a restroom to retrieve the pieces, and then resume running. Bright side: I somehow caught my train.

Anywho, it’s Monday, and Mondays suck, so I think we all deserve a little guilty pleasure music to ease us into the long week ahead. These are songs that you totally love, but you’re a little embarrassed about. These songs are NOT critically acclaimed, and Mr. Hipster beanie will definitely roll his eyes when you play this on the dive bar jukebox (secretly he dances to these songs in his underwear). For the record, this is my all time favorite kind of music. Sophisticated I am not.

1. Leave (get out), JoJo: This song is the best for singing while cleaning and/or hanging out with your ladies. You need a chorus to back you up with, “leave!”, “now!”, “who!”, “why!” and “waste of time!” This was a pre-gaming (ha, remember when you did that) staple in the Fluff/Biscuit world. 

2. What You Got, Colby O’Donis ft. Akon: I was obsessed with this song for most of 2008 and 2009. It’s still my absolute favorite cheeseball R&B song, probably ever. First of all, Colby is confusing me. Is he Irish? He looks kind of like Andrew Keegan. What ever happened to Colby? He was also on Just Dance with Gaga. He’s pretty awesome. Also: Akon. How can you not like Akon? It’s rap white people can rap along to. Anyway, try not to listen to this on repeat. It’s impossible because this is the best solo dancing song of all time.

3. From a Table Away, Sunny Sweeney: If you’re scared of country music, I’m sorry. Maybe give this one a try? I only like really cheese-ball country. One of my best friends has a strong southern streak and lived in Houston for a short while. When we visited we went to the world championship bbq cookoff (of course) and she wanted to stop by to see Sunny Sweeney perform. She won me over when she performed her whole set while drinking bud light and screaming “holler than swaller y’all!” She also had a can holder on her microphone stand. My kind of lady. This song is super catchy and it tells a story about being a mistress. I know you’ll like it, but you probably won’t admit it.

4. Glamorous, Fergie ft. Ludacris: I have long said that my secret guilty pleasure dream concert would consist of JoJo opening for Fergie. In Glamorous we’ve got sing-spelling, a ludicrous cameo, and “flossy, flosssaaaayyy” used in a chorus line. I love it.

5. Lucky, Britney Spears: I think all Britney technically counts as guilty pleasure music, but this one wins a big time cheese factor award. I love the video with her awesome alter ego and the super twangy voice effects.

6. 2 become 1, Spice Girls:  I love the power ballads off of huge pop albums. Remember Tonight by NKOTB? This song is perfect for car singing.


8. Up in the Club, Marques Houston: I don’t know why, but I have strong associations between this song and college rowing parties, aka drinking with my best friends in the world. It made us feel like we were at the world’s best club, when really we were in a disgustingly dirty living room drinking Natty Ice and wearing polyester clothing from Forever 21. 

9. Lovin Me, Nelly: I love it when rappers sing. Rappers should always sing.

10. Showstopper, Danity Kane: Why is this song a guilty pleasure? Other than the fact that Aubrey O’day is involved, this band was created on a TV show with P. Diddy.  I also enjoy any song with call and response verses. Bonus: Check out A O'D in the video, pre implants!

I hope this made your Monday a little brighter. I, for one, and listening to "What you got" on a loop and feeling pretty jazzy.

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