Friday, November 18, 2011

Hungry Bear: or Holar's HCG Diet Adventure. Day 19 of the Days of Suck

"Oh hey guys. I didn't see you standing there. I'm glad I ran into you too, it's been way too long.

Wait...what?...You've been here the whole time? I've been ignoring you? Oh.

I'm really sorry it's just that my brain has been a little foggy lately.", it's day 21 of my HCG Diet Adventure, Day 19 of the Days of Suck.  I have good things to report and words of caution. As I stated above in my semi-lucid self conversation, the experience has left me "a little foggy". In order to spare you from the delusional stream of consciousness prose of someone on a lot of stimulants, and almost no calories, I will submit my findings in the form of a list:

1. Not eating is not that difficult with, drumroll please...Phentarmine! (physician prescribed)

2. Phentarmine is Phun! It takes your morning coffee and adds a special kick that you would normally only get from a guy name "Freeway Carl" with a week's worth of lunch money.

3. I lost 22 pounds in 19 days.

4. In my head I look like this:

5. I actually look like this:
6. Food feeds your brain. My brain is hungry and has decided that proccessing information like Willy Wonka, and keeping my eyes open in an Elijah Wood/Runaway Bride fashion is mandatory.

7. It is virtually impossible to eat outside of your home.  I had to go to a Bat Mitzvah for a business partner's daughter (our most loyal fans may have read my live tweeting of the event). Needless to say, my diet that day was blown, even if  only by the 3 vodkas it took to stop staring at the peri-menapausal  woman in the (count the adjectives here) leopard print, sequined, strapless, micro, mini dresses and 7 inch, platform, peep toe, stiletto, glitter heals. I literally witnessed the second coming of the ancient goddess 'Inappropriatia".  

8. Phentarmine + MAD Espresso + Stress = Massive Panic Attacks!

9. I love apples so much.

10. I miss wine like I never knew I could miss something before.

11. Cooking food with no fat is really difficult and, perhaps not surprisingly, it tastes horrible.

12. Dr. House says I can eat Thanksgiving dinner with reckless abandon, and I'll be through the Days of Suck in 2 more weeks.

Blue Steel here I come....


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