My Favorite Pageant Family Ever

I hope you were all watching Toddlers & Tiaras last night. What, you missed it? Well, you missed out. Last night's episode featured quite possibly the greatest pageant family of all time. They have a son and a daughter that compete. 

The father gleefully coaches his daughter Riley, behind his wife's back, to make this face at the judges:

The son's name is Bob (seriously, the name alone) and he has a rat-tail that his mother strings with beads to give him "pageant power." To quote Bob's mom: "We will continue growing that tail for as long as Bob wants it.  And when it's time to cut it off, it will be sitting in my jewelry box." 

Also: the parents tell their kids to be fierce. "My husband I watch a lot of drag shows. We take a lot of our inspiration from RuPaul." Their (large) dog wears a diaper around the house.

And to top it all off, there was the Christmas pageant gear:

I'm not being sarcastic when I say that I love this family. These kids are going to have an amazing sense of humor when they grow up. At the very least they'll be able to write stellar memoirs.