Friday, December 2, 2011
Happy Friday!
The submissions for the Friday Dance are pouring in nowadays. Here is this week's winner. Inspiration: general office sexiness.
Where has all the R&B gone?
Ok, at the risk of sounding older than my years, what in the hell is up with music these days?
In our day you couldn't turn around without being sexily serenaded by a group of young men or women dressed in coordinated urban evening wear. Biscuit put up some excellent examples the other day.
Nowadays literally EVERY song on the radio (regardless of claimed genre) is actually a techno song (or electronic dance music as the interwebs clarified for me). R&B was about making slow sweet love. Techno is about robots and humping at jack rabbit speeds. Sure our parents disapproved of the sexy lovemaking themes in our music. But I bet they would have caged us until we were 30 if all the love were removed from the music, the sex was taken up a notch, and the speed cranked up a couple hundred BPM's.
I blame white people. When R&B slow jams hit it big, white tweens everywhere were faced with the daunting task of developing rhythm and learning new dances that involve the groin muscles, like the butterfly. They've been battling that ever since. Enter "Electronic Dance Music," and all of the sudden bouncing and dry humping counts as dancing, and white people can go to clubs again. That's how it started. And now it's rampant. It's ruining the lives of all the people with soul.
What? You disagree? Suck it.
Exhibit A: Even Usher has been corrupted.
Usher circa 1997: You Make Me Wanna
Note the dancers brought in to make Usher into a group. Note the use of a keyboard set to "Spanish Guitar". Note the unbuttoned shirt, gold chain, and wave cap. Mostly, note that this is smooth, grindable, R&B.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
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